‘Dating’ - might seem such a taboo in our society. People always seem to have a negative notion about the concept of dating.
My husband and I dated for two years before marriage, and I must say that those are the most cherished days of our relationship. Now before you jump to any conclusions, we had something that I would like to term as healthy dating.
Since it was a long distance relationship, it became easier to maintain our testimony. But we ensured that we were careful each time we met. What I really liked about him was that he would seek the permission of my parents each time he took me out. Everything we did was known to our family and hence, we had nothing to fear. Walking in the truth will always cast out fear. We ensured that we do not commit mistakes that we made in our past relationship. That made our journey of courtship even more special. Our pastors were aware of our plans and so were our families.
It’s so important in the sight of God to maintain your purity. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn from them and don’t repeat them. Having people to guide us who have been through such experiences proves to be a blessing in disguise as we can be more cautious about doing the right thing.
I’d like to share somethings that I’ve learned about healthy dating:
1. When you date a person, you are basically trying to get to know the will of God even as you spend time talking with the person. Dating can never let you know how compatible you are with a person. If you look into yourself, you will be surprised to find out that you aren’t aware of most of your weaknesses and strengths. So you can’t possibly know a person just by spending hours of talking with him/her. I’ve known a girl who was dating a boy for almost eight years yet, there was this side of his that remained unknown to her and finally was the cause of their separation. How can you be so sure that the person you are dating is not deceiving you? The best you can do is seek the will of God because God sees the heart and knows who’s best for us.
2. When you date someone, you DO NOT OWN THE PERSON! So please hold your horses back! You haven’t promised the person to to stand by him/her until death separates you. So, there is a possibility that you haven’t been sensitive enough to the voice of God or you decide to turn a deaf ear to His plans. In either case, if it’s not His will it won’t last long. You need to bear in mind that The person you date might be someone’s future husband/wife. Don’t enforce yourself on the person and don’t give in to the wrong demands of the person as well. It’s better to know your limits and stay safe and right. It might seem difficult in the flush of all emotions you go through, but trust me, it is possible!
3. Don’t expect a lot from the person you date. Know the desires and plans of the one you date and share yours as well. You can always find out ways to mutually plan out things and find a way out. Accept the person with his/her individuality. There might be a lot of differences, but love surpasses them all!
4. Don’t walk in lies. Let your journey of courtship be truthful. It’s always better for your pastors, elders and family members to be aware of it. They are way more experienced than you are and can guide you in the right way. When they sense something fishy, ensure that you follow the advice and check if you are attuned to God’s word. This way, you can be sure of maintaining a good testimony and an example for others.
A healthy dating experience will help your conscience feel free and peaceful. Eventually, you will also see God’s plan unfold beautifully in your lives.
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