Something known as Dating!

‘Dating’ - might seem such a taboo in our society. People always seem to have a negative notion about the concept of dating.

My husband and I dated for two years before marriage, and I must say that those are the most cherished days of our relationship. Now before you jump to any conclusions, we had something that I would like to term as healthy dating.

Since it was a long distance relationship, it became easier to maintain our testimony. But we ensured that we were careful each time we met. What I really liked about him was that he would seek the permission of my parents each time he took me out. Everything we did was known to our family and hence, we had nothing to fear. Walking in the truth will always cast out fear. We ensured that we do not commit mistakes that we made in our past relationship. That made our journey of courtship even more special. Our pastors were aware of our plans and so were our families.

It’s so important in the sight of God to maintain your purity. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn from them and don’t repeat them. Having people to guide us who have been through such experiences proves to be a blessing in disguise as we can be more cautious about doing the right thing.

I’d like to share somethings that I’ve learned about healthy dating:

1. When you date a person, you are basically trying to get to know the will of God even as you spend time talking with the person. Dating can never let you know how compatible you are with a person. If you look into yourself, you will be surprised to find out that you aren’t aware of most of your weaknesses and strengths. So you can’t possibly know a person just by spending hours of talking with him/her. I’ve known a girl who was dating a boy for almost eight years yet, there was this side of his that remained unknown to her and finally was the cause of their separation. How can you be so sure that the person you are dating is not deceiving you? The best you can do is seek the will of God because God sees the heart and knows who’s best for us.

2. When you date someone, you DO NOT OWN THE PERSON! So please hold your horses back! You haven’t promised the person to to stand by him/her until death separates you. So, there is a possibility that you haven’t been sensitive enough to the voice of God or you decide to turn a deaf ear to His plans. In either case, if it’s not His will it won’t last long. You need to bear in mind that The person you date might be someone’s future husband/wife. Don’t enforce yourself on the person and don’t give in to the wrong demands of the person as well. It’s better to know your limits and stay safe and right. It might seem difficult in the flush of all emotions you go through, but trust me, it is possible!

3. Don’t expect a lot from the person you date. Know the desires and plans of the one you date and share yours as well. You can always find out ways to mutually plan out things and find a way out. Accept the person with his/her individuality. There might be a lot of differences, but love surpasses them all!

4. Don’t walk in lies. Let your journey of courtship be truthful. It’s always better for your pastors, elders and family members to be aware of it. They are way more experienced than you are and can guide you in the right way. When they sense something fishy, ensure that you follow the advice and check if you are attuned to God’s word. This way, you can be sure of maintaining a good testimony and an example for others.

A healthy dating experience will help your conscience feel free and peaceful. Eventually, you will also see God’s plan unfold beautifully in your lives.

Perfect Love

When I was younger, the picture of ‘love’ looked so perfect in my mind. Like a perfect person or perfect parents or a perfect marriage. However, God gradually led me to the deeper meaning of love. Love is not about the good people or the good moments you spend wit someone. Love is all about being with someone through all the dirt and mess they carry. Love is not about expecting perfection, but it’s all about accepting the imperfections and loving them anyway. True love is all about sacrifice, just like Jesus sacrificed His glory for us. Just like the Father sacrificed His only Son for us. That, to me, is love; unconditional love, yet not blind love. He knew the cost. He knew the pain and suffering. Yet, he chose to carry the cross because He loved us, and still does.

Love will never let you fall in a pit. True love will help you stand and face the tests of life, and help you rise above your situations. It considers the beauty of the heart above the external beauty. There is no fear in love.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear”

-1 John 4:18

Sometimes, we continue to hold onto relationships because of fear, but we mistake it to be love. When we love in our hearts, there will be no room for fear.

There is a difference between genuine Christ-like love and its counterfeit known as attachment. Attachment says, “I need you to love me, so I will love you in order to gt your love.” But true love says, “I don’t need you, but I love you and hope all the best for you.” True love will always stand by you and never fail you.

When you understand the love displayed at the cross when Jesus said, “It is finished”, you will be able to love unconditionally and experience unconditional love as well.

-Sarah Timothy & Sussanah

Who's My True Friend?

I have heard of a classic story since I was in my school days and it was very popular. This story was about Damon and Pythias, said to have taken place in the Sicilian city-state of Syracuse in the fourth century B.C. As I'm sure many of you remember, these two men had been close friends since childhood. Pythias spoke out against the tyranny of the ruler, Dionysius, and was subsequently arrested and condemned to death. As a last request he asked if he might be allowed to go back home to say goodbye to his wife and children and to put his household in order before his execution. Dionysius was not willing to risk Pythias' fleeing, until Damon stepped forward and offered to pledge his own life and be imprisoned until Pythias returned. The condition that Dionysius imposed was that Damon must be willing to die in his place if Pythias did not return 3 by the date of execution. Damon willingly agreed and Pythias gratefully left. As days and days went by, and the deadline approached, and there was no sign of Pythias, Dionysius visited the prison to see if Damon was sorry he had made such a bargain: "You were a fool to rely on your friend's promise. Did you really think he would sacrifice his life for you?" Yet, Damon remained confident of his friend's loyalty, explaining that perhaps the winds had kept him from sailing or he had met with some accident on the road. On the day of execution, Pythias still had not returned, and Dionysius smugly greeted Damon, who was bound and ready to die. "What do you think of your friend now?" asked the ruler. Damon simply replied, "He is my friend. I trust [that he has good reasons not to be here, and I am ready to die in his place]." Just as he finished speaking, Pythias suddenly appeared, staggering, beaten and bruised, and nearly speechless from exhaustion. "[Thank heaven I'm not too late!] You are safe, [Damon,] Praise the Gods," he gasped. Pythias then explained how his ship was wrecked in a storm and how he was then attacked by bandits on the road. "But I refused to give up hope," he declared. "At last I've made it back in time. I am ready to receive my sentence of death." Dionysius was utterly astonished. He was so emotionally overwhelmed by this demonstration of friendship -- in both directions -- that he revoked the sentence and let both go free, asking only that he could be taught how to be such a friend. "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friend."

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

-John 15:13

Easier said than done? Well, the One who said this actually did it! Yes, He laid down His life for us because He knew that there was no other way we could live eternally.

In this world, where everything seems fake and where most of the people are so diplomatic, we have a hope that true friendship does exist. If we claim to walk in accordance to God’s word, we too will display this quality of friendship - Selflessness.

True friendship is rare to find these days. People are so focused on their needs and maintaining a good name in the society, that diplomacy and craftiness has taken over honesty and innocence in friendship. It’s no longer about what the other person feels or needs, it’s all about ME. The culture in corporate world is such that, people use the very same people as footstep to climb the ladder who helped them to shape their career at a very critical phase. So the word called Trust and friendships are just mere fictional words found in bed time story books in the industry.

We can find it very easy to push our friend into the pit in order to remain safe outside. We can only understand the true meaning of friendship when we realize the work done for us at the cross and apply it in our friendship as well.

You might be experiencing lots of stress and pressure in your school, workplace, home, personnel life. End results would be how you give in into the situation. When you put potatoes, egg and coffee beans into hot water, potatoes which is hardest gives in to the heat and turns softer, egg which is very tender becomes very hard, but coffee beans brings aroma and changes the liquid.

Most of teens experience ‘peer pressure’. But the fact is that if your friendship is true, there’s no pressure whatsoever. You are accepted for the person you are. The essence of friendship is comfort and honesty. A true friend will always make you feel comfortable, be honest to you about your flaws and yet love you and accept you. A friend won’t pressurize you to ‘fit in’. Neither  do you have to force anyone to believe the truth. Love and respect keeps friends bound. Jesus never looked down on people. He accepted people with love and spoke the truth in love. He never forced people to follow Him or believe in him. He only led a life of example which encouraged people to be like Him. You need not be a great preacher to bring your friends to know about the Salvation in Christ. Let your life be a testimony, just as the life of Jesus was. And even as people see Christ in you, God will start working in them!

-Neethu Shaju & Sussanah

It Does Not Always Have To Be Loud!

Many a times people end up saying things or doing things that hurt us and vice versa. We trust God and know that He is just. We believe that He will lift is up and deliver justice in His perfect time. So we pray, we forgive and we move on. But when God actually proves us right, we want to shout out loud and show how the other person wronged you. Isn't that a bit unfair? Sometimes, God actually likes to do things quietly and it's best to keep our excitement of being proved right to ourselves. We don't need to look down upon the person who wronged us. We are accountable for our own deeds, so let's decide to act wisely. Just because the person doesn't personally apologise to you, doesn't mean that you have to force one to do it. In that way you're just returning the bad done to you. That also means you didn't really forgive the person in the first place. 

Let's deal in love. Let's learn to keep somethings between God and ourselves. We don't need to always shout out from the roof tops. Not everyone needs to see God's justice in your life at every instance. Sometimes it's best when it's realised by you. Take joy in what the Lord has done for you and avoid taking steps that will take you back to the situation God got you out from. The only difference now would be, that you'll be the one taking the wrong step. 

The entire purpose of the Book of Esther is to help us realise that sometimes God likes to work quietly through cause and effect. Esther's role as a queen gave her a platform. It gave her a place where her voice could be heard and she could make a difference. She didn't know it, though, until God asked her to speak up. 

So, relax and wait patiently on the Lord. Obeying Him will only get better results. If he wants you to stay quiet, do so. You know what being in that pit is like. Instead of pointing out how wrong the person is and telling the whole world about it, learn to empathise and be helpful. That will only make your Heavenly Father more proud of you. 

BUSY???

When I think of last year, it’s been a wonderful year. Not that I haven’t been through rough phases, but it’s about how I’ve emerged out of them as a better and a stronger person.

With the New Year come new resolutions. We all try our best to live up to the standards we set up for ourselves. When I thought about my resolutions, the only statement that popped into my mind was you’re so busy these days! I haven’t been able to keep in touch with close friends, I haven’t been able to devote enough time to write my blogs, and the list goes on. But while thinking about all of this, I questioned myself: Are we really busy?? There are so many people who work hard, or maybe even harder than me and yet find enough time for themselves. And when I thought of all the possibilities, it all came down to just one problem : improper management of time. 

If we really prioritize things correctly, we can have enough time to catch up with the little things that bring happiness in our lives. And I delayed writing this article just because I first wanted to live up to it myself. I have got my priorities right and I have been able to take out time for all those things I avoided by reasoning that I’m busy!  

There are plenty of articles about time management with a lot more details. But I personally feel that prioritizing things correctly is all that you need to do.

Have a wonderful year by staying connected with the ones who beautify your life, doing the things that you love, taking joy in the little things that bring you happiness and also help in spreading smiles!

Has God Changed?

Let's take a look at these scriptures:

1. Malachi 3:6
"For I, the Lord, do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed."

2. Genesis 6:6-7
"And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. And the Lord said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.""

3. Exodus 32:14
"So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people."

4. Jonah 3:10
"When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them. And He did not do it."

You might get confused and feel that God is contradicting Himself. When we see God changimg His mind, we look at it from a human perspective, which is limited. But if you ask God to help you understand the depth of these scriptures, you will realise that when God says He doesn't change, He is speaking about His nature and character. His nature will remain constant. But this does not mean that He cannot change how He works with people throughout history.

Since God holds our future in His hands, He knows it all. Yet He prefers to let us use our free will and He has another plan ready for us, with a hope that we will run back to Him. Hence, we have an everlasting hope in Christ. In the same manner, He also knows His plan of changing His mind. Like in the case of Jonah, God gave the people a chance to repent. Thus, His nature of loving His creation and hoping they would return to Him didn't change, only His approach towards the people changed.

God, as in His love towards us, His truth, mercy, grace, kindness....His character doesn't change. What changes is His way of working in lives. Just as we all differ from each other, so does His work differ in our lives.

Can you imagine if God worked in the same way on all our lives, would we have anything new and out of the box to share with each other, to encourage and uploft each other?
Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever!

Is Your Anointing Leaking Out?

Anointing leaking out! Sounds illogical?

It hit me hard as I heard the preacher give an example for it. It forced me to evaluate myself. Have I left any loopholes for my anointing to leak out? And can I lose my anointing?

The answer is, yes, we certainly can lose our anointing. King Saul was anointed by the Lord, but one act of disobedience cost him his anointing. David was anointed as king instead.

What could be the possible reasons for my anointing to leak out? It's really easy to play the blame game and say 'The Devil' is the only reason! How can the Devil enter without any open doors?  We let him have his way!

Compromising with the standards of God is the major reason we tend to lose our anointing. When I speak of compromising with God's standards, living upto the standards of this world will be your fist thought. But I've realised that it's much deeper. There are people who know and believe in God's word, claim to be walking in the light, yet live compromising lives by following incorrect doctrines. How can we find out if we are following something that's not right?

For example, God teaches us to honour our parents. If we are led by someone to leave them by themselves in their difficult times, you can very well understand that you are compromising with the word of God. You've allowed your anointing to leak.

It's a simple, yet a powerful statement. Something that should make you introspect. There are so many times we instruct the people weaker than us about the Do's and Don'ts. But what about people like us, people who are involved in the forefront of the ministry? Isn't it something we need to really think about?

The more we lean on the Holy Spirit for His guidance, the more wisdom will we receive to watch our steps. The more we empty ourselves before Him and let Him fill us, our cups will overflow. The anointing poured over you is precious, don't let go of it because of petty things - because of foolishness.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22Amplified Bible (AMP)

21 Now it is God who establishes and confirms us [in joint fellowship] with you in Christ, and who has anointed us [empowering us with the gifts of the Spirit]; 22 it is He who has also put His seal on us [that is, He has appropriated us and certified us as His] and has given us the [Holy] Spirit in our hearts as a pledge [like a security deposit to guarantee the fulfillment of His promise of eternal life].

Stand firm in the Lord and let Him guide your steps. Run to him first because He knows what's best for you. Listen to Him and do as He says, joyfully. When you understand the heart of the Father, following His will joyfully becomes easy. Walk in the anointing poured over you. You are His vessel. Don't give the Devil any chance to poke holes through your life and cause your anointing to leak.